The Birds of Fairway

I was standing in the organic-food section of the Red Hook Fairway, when I heard a bird tweeting. "I hear a bird," I said to The Wife. Being a good wife, she ignored me. Nutty husband. Hears bird in grocery stores.

Something definitely was twittering. But it was the organic section. Maybe it was a machine, one of those kind that are supposed to put you at peace and send you to blissful rest. Someone was offering a demonstration of the device.

But I couldn't find a machine. And the twirps sounded too authentic. What's more every time I zoned in on the bird, the source of the sound changes. It was here. It was there. "There's a bird in here," I said. A Fairway clerk busy sorting a shelf stared at me blankly. Crazy customer. There are no birds in Fairway.





The Wife was taking a long time picking out her purchases, so I had time to slowly roam the aisles, following the cheeps. They got louder near the center aisle, by the environmentally friendly toilet paper. I looked up to the lighting fixtures and duct work (pictured above) There the buggers were! Two little birds, having a fine time perched above the organic goods. I saw them. They saw me. They flew away, before I could take their picture.

Now they knew I was after them, so they shut up. No more tweeting. They were silent as the grave. I trod silently, looking for them. They gave no aural hints of their location. But through patience, I discovered one of them once again. I aimed. I shot.


A couple minutes later, I found the other and took a much better picture of him (or her). The flash sent the fowl flying away.

There's a set of metal loading doors near the organic section. I have to imagine the birds flew in that way. And it must be impossible to coax them out. They're not pets. Look like ordinary birds.