19 May 2006

Luquer, Mom: No Scruples

On a recent sunny day in Carroll Gardens, apparently, some savvy development dudes looked around while wolfing down their cannoli and gasped, "Oh, my God! There's nothing in this jerk neighborhood over five stories tall! These losers need help!"

Soon, to the rescue, came hack architect Karl Fischer, and in a flash low-key Luquer Street had something to look forward to: an 11-story luxury condo tower. Thank God! If it weren't for opportunistic geniuses like these guys, Brooklyn would just be stuck with row after row of beautiful Brownstones. Whew!

You can see the Luquer project on the Fischer website www.kfarchitect.com. It's under the "News: upcoming projects" heading, where your find a long list of coming attractions. Click on a few others and you'll have to restrain yourself from rocketing down the stairs with a kitchen knife to find this sonovabitch Fischer before he defiles another corner of our city with a crapload of uninspired, hyper-ugly metal and glass.

This is the same development, by the way, that has made Luquer Street Rat Heaven ever since workers broke ground and released the rodents from hell. Hey, rats know their kind when they see 'em. You can't blame them for coming up and saying hi.

1 comment:

kurt said...

I don't understand why they don't just build (exactly) the same design over and over. The projects in Williamsburg, for instance, are all equally blunt and forgettable, and at least a block apart, so no one would notice if they were all the same. If the lot is small, put down one building; if it's big, put down two or three.

They would save money with this scheme, and save us from having to look and wonder why they made their supposed "design decisions."