Seasonal Verdict
If there's one thing I will never forgive the world's governments and corporations and car drivers for it's the eradication of fall. They've cooked our planet until what was once a beautiful, extended times of crisp air, cool temperature, lovely slanting light and beautifully colored leaves has been rendered a tepid, unpleasant, schizophrenic few weeks of humidity, half-assed Indian Summer and rain.
I've been patient, waiting day by day for the season to kick in with style, but it's November 15th now, and I have no choice but to declare autumn 2007 a failure. Frankly, this fall has sucked. October felt like July, with most days soaring into the 70s, and people walking around in shorts all over the place. When November arrived, the Fahrenheit plummeted down to 50s. We never enjoyed those delicious days that float in the mid-to-low 60s, which is what fall is all about. Moreover, half of November has dripped with intermittent rain, knocking the late-turning leaves (which were mainly an anemic yellow) out of the trees before we got a chance to enjoy them.
The past 10 weeks haven't felt like autumn. It's felt like Mother Nature is having a nervous breakdown. Which, I guess, she is.
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6 comments:
Well written! I've got a closet full of jackets that I haven't worn, because the weather keeps lurching between a half-assed spring, dank, and no autumn at all. I remember kicking leaves down the street and, in one instance, at a Bell picnic (my parents both worked for what we then called the phone company, as there was only the one) diving into a pile of crisp leaves and landing on a very annoyed toad. I miss fall.
It's Bill and Hillary's fault. They killed autumn just like they killed Vince Foster and Ron Brown. Them, and all of the treasonous America-hating Defeatocrats, yeah, they killed your season. And damn those kids who stole the flag from my front porch!
I'm too freaked out to respond, KOC. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't that kid who stole the flag.
Brooks, I think--or at least I hope--that kingofnycabbies was being heavy handedly sarcastic. If not, I'm as freaked as you are.
Yes, I know he was, Barbara, though the comment did teeter on the edge a bit. I love the King of Cabbies.
Sorry, guys--didn't mean to freak anyone out.
The first part of the comment is merely what you see, verbatim, on any number of comments pages, on any site where politics is involved. Sometimes it just gets inside your noggin to where you just blurt it out yourself, Tourette's-style. The last one is from my favorite kind of letter to the Daily News's "Voice of the People" letter section, in which some crank complains about what those durned kids and their mischief are up to.
I was just in a mood, I guess...
We all know it's illegal immigrants who have destroyed your autumn. What part of "illegal" don't you get?
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