What Bloomberg Wants for the Eight Days of Hanukkah

1. A third term.
2. For people to forget how he was able to run for a third term.
3. For Christine Quinn to stop dropping by the house at all hours "just to talk" and check what's in the fridge.
4. A Lexington Avenue subway spur leading straight to his Upper East Side townhouse.
5. A musical about his mayoralty, like LaGuardia and Koch got.
6. An invitation to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom.
7. To become a Democrat again, now that the Republican and Independent things aren't working for him.
8. A five-leaf clover.
9. "What do you mean there are only eight days to Hanukkah? Can't City Council do something about that?"