As you have probably heard by now, the City has painted large swathes of Times Square red. This is apparently the aesthetic follow-up to the cordoning off of a chunk of the area for pedestrian traffic and the migration of hundreds of lawn chairs.
Here are a few of the other things Mayor Bloomberg is planning to make Times Square just about the best it's ever been!
1. Hundreds of garden gnomes will be placed along Seventh Avenue. (One looks like Waldo! Look for him!)
2. A Jazzercise session will be conducted in Duffy Square every day at 11 AM. Bring your own mat.
3. Tiki lamps and Chinese lanterns will brighten up the place at night.
4. The Naked Cowboy will be replaced by a mime.
5. A ball cage for the kids will be installed on the triangle just below 46th Street.
6. Roving waiters will take orders for non-alcoholic Mojitos, which are just as good as the other kind.
7. The TKTS booth will be replaced by a take-out-only Applebee's franchise.
8. A giant remote control, roughly the size of a twin bed, will now control the Jumbotro. Tourists can work it by jumping on the buttons—just like Tom Hanks danced on that giant keyboard in "Big"!
9. The name of the area will be changes to Ye Olde Times Square Village.