What We Learned From This Week's Election

Several things, only one of them encouraging.

1. The people are damn lazy and pretty much get the government they deserve. Despite the fact that, in this heavily Democratic city, the person who wins the Democratic primary inevitably wins the office; and despite the fact that many of the incumbents for City Council had basically said "Fuck you!" to the voters by overturning term limits last fall, a pathetic minority of the voting public showed up at the polls. Way to ensure corruption goes unpunished, New York!

2. Bloomberg's a shoo-in. The voters stupidly went with the most visible candidate William C. Thompson Jr., the milquetoast foremer comptroller who couldn't even come up with a reason why he wanted to be mayor in a recent debate, instead of voting for the most intelligent, principled and focused candidate, City Council member Tony Avella. With Avella, at least, we would have been assured that Bloomberg would have been called every name he deserves to be called and would have been made plenty uncomfortable until November.

3. There is no justice. Council speaker Christine Quinn, who, along with Bloomberg, strong-armed the council into passing the new third-term legislation, through back-room deals and intimidation tactics, was reelected. Sure, the margin was slimmer than it should have been, so Quinn was humiliated a bit. But to you think that operator cares? As long as she won, that means power, and power is all this gal ever wanted.

4. There is some justice. At least four, and maybe six, City Council members—all of whom voted to extend term limits—were ousted from their seats. In our sad, apathetic city, this amount to a house-cleaning. The losers, who are now spending their nights cursing the darkness that they ever met Devil Bloomberg and his Mephistopheles, Quinn, include the often absent Maria Baez of the Bronx (how will people know she's gone?); Helen Sears, a Queens Democrat; Alan J. Gerson of Manhattan; and Kendall Stewart of Brooklyn. Think Quinn called with condolences?

5. Those who hope for a Gowanus Superfund cleanup lost a supporter. Josh Skaller lost to Bill DeBlasio protege Brad Lander in the 39th district. Lander hedged his language regarding the canal and the developer-loving City Hall's controversial (and probably not viable) plan to clean up the canal itself. Rest assured, Lander will come out strongly against the Superfund soon after taking office. The developers will have his ear.

More Evidence City Hates Small Businesses

City Hall must be running out of ideas on how to drive mom-and-pop stores out of business and make things a little easier for their big-box, chain-retailer friends. Brooklyn Paper reported over the weekend that the government has started to crack down on sidewalk sandwich-board signs, those a-frame, folding jobbies that shops put out in front of their stores in hopes of attracting shoppers.

Now, come on. What lousy lunch or spousal argument led an idle bureaucrat to issue this pointless fiat? Has there been a rash of sandwich-board murders, with culprits offing citizens with hosted placards when guns and knives proved unavailable? Did Bloomberg trip over a "hot soup" sign and drop his gold-plated money clip down a manhole? How are these things harming anyone? The City argues that they obstruct the sidewalk, and has been handing out $100-$300 tickets. This is nonsense. Aside from impeding the progress of a holdup man trying desperately to make his getaway (which would be a good thing), I can't imagine how any of these signs has even gotten in anyone's way. Everyone out there who has every trucking down the sidewalk and found his path obstructed by a sandwich board, raise your hand.

I thought so.

I don't know about you, but when I look at old photos of Fourth Avenue or Essex Street or whatever shopping strip, the thing I love is the riot of small-scale signage running perpendicular to the street. Hanging signs jutting up above your head, visible from a block away, and sidewalk signs, usually hand-painted or hand-drawn. It adds an extra dimension to the urban landscape. So much more attractive and visually stimulating that the flat, one-dimensional sea of neon we get these days. It also provides small vendors with a no-cost way to advertise. After all, Rite Aid and Staples don't need sidewalk signs; they've got two-foot-tall, firetruck-red letters that scream what they are. But I guess there's no chance that a sign so big and garish as that might actually stop people in their tracks and obstruct traffic. No, no chance of that at all.