23 April 2009

Columbia and the Great Glass Elevator


Work has begun anew on the Belltower of Columbia Street, the bizarrely towered new apartment complex on Columbia Street near Summit. Either the developers got the go-ahead from the DOB, or it's just more the illegal work that's been common at the address in the past.

But Lost City learned a few things by talking to some of the workers. For one, that's not a belltower there at the top. Well, OK, we knew that already. But we still couldn't figure out what it actually was—until now. Friends, it's an elevator shaft. Apparently, this four-story building is to be filled by lazy people, because they need an elevator to get where they're going.

And it won't be just any elevator. It will be a Willie Wonka-ish glass elevator, so that when they get to that tippy-top, the tenants are going to enjoy some super-nice views. It will also be nice going up, because the inside of the elevator shaft will be lined by reclaimed old brick—you know, the kind of quality brick they used to use all the time before they started putting up pieces of crapitecture like this.

So, to review: in order for the residents of this new building to be afforded great views of the neighborhood, the rest of the neighborhood must be afflicted with a lousy view. Of that building. Hm. Seems fair.

9 comments:

joy said...

Well, that's just atrocious. The building. And the elevator shaft.

Vidology's Totally Boss 80's Videos! said...

so the residents get to see the nice brick with character while we get the view blocking home depot bricks? nice.

Dan said...

I wonder why it's so difficult to construct a building these days with authentic red brick. Is it really possible that what was once so omnipresent as the working-man's building material is now too expensive for even upscale buildings? Is there an antique-style brick that exists that can be bought cheaply? The labor costs the same.

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Just cheapness and greed, Dan. It must be slightly more expensive than other materials, and if developers can save a penny by going chintzy, they will.

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Also, Dan, I'm guessing bricklaying with smaller, old red brick requires more skill and artistry, whereas any cheaply paid laborer can put on huge cinder block on top of another.

Blayze said...

I would have settled for a clocktower. Alas, another waste of space in Midwest transplant city.

Oddly enough, good 'new' architecture still exists in New Jersey. Take a look at the few newer buildings on TCNJ's campus. Now that's how you blend in while not being an ugly modernistic glass box.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/njrugby/2731112602/in/photostream/

Elizabeth said...

I am pretty sure this is the listing for this extremely ugly elevator building:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/fee/1134435189.html

Rebecca Wilson said...

No excuse for the glass sure, but come on... For lots of folks, elevators are a necessity, not a luxury. Elderly people (hopefully all of us, one day), wheelchair users, people with mobility impairments, including veterans. The building may be an atrocity, but not cuz it's being made accessible to a larger pool of future tenants, right?

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Good point, Rebecca. Though I often wonder what the people who lived in the old walk-up tenaments did in the old days.