02 March 2010

Reasons Why I Am Not Successful

Things I hate to do:

  • Brainstorm
  • Monetize
  • Think Outside the Box
  • Push the Envelope
  • Brand
  • Network
  • "Grow" My Company
  • Synergize
  • Leverage
  • Sex Up
  • Strategize
  • Market My Skills
Or maybe it's just that I hate hearing people say these words. Or hate the people who say these words. Or hate it that people pay attention to people who say these words. Or all of the above. Either way, I'll never succeed in this marketplace. My skin crawls too easily.

23 comments:

BrooksNYC said...

HA! Our name isn't the only thing we have in common. Here's to you.

BrooksNYC said...

Tangentially, I recently overheard this exchange:

A. If he could just learn to think outside the box, we—
B. Sorry, but I have to stop you right there. There IS no box.
A. Yeah, but what I—
B. Stop. There is no box, okay? No. Box.

Make of that what you will....it brightened my day!

The Vidiot said...

You haven't lived until you've sat in a meeting and heard someone say 'collaborative model' at least 20 times and 'silos of knowledge' at least 10.

Ugh.

I wanted to gouge my ears out.

Ken Mac said...

i was once told to "market my skills" They laid me off within months.

sparky said...

is a silo of knowledge filled with corn or a missile?

yech.

Jeff said...

maybe if you had corporate slang flashcards you'd be able to think outside the box better:
http://craziestgadgets.com/2010/02/27/think-outside-the-box-with-corporate-slang-flashcards/

Lisanne said...

Don't forget to be *pro-active*!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for closing the loop.

ironrailsironweights said...

"Networking" is another one.

Peter

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Thanks, guys. I've added "network" and "market my skills," two other things I hate to do!

Chris Sanborn said...

I think what you really need to do is drill down, get some traction and circle back on this concept so you can get a 100,000 view of your next action items.

Marco said...

Bureaucrat-money-speak is the most boring talk going on. They should be made to wear earphones, as the old song says, Mr. Jones.

Rebecca Wilson said...

Maybe if "success" means "bored, rich and unhappy." But who wants that? You keep an awesome, quirky blog and I don't know how many followers you have, but I read Lost City religiously. It seems like you get a lot from joy riding your bike around, taking pictures, researching things you're passionate about, exploring, talking to people and hanging out with your family. I like that definition of success a lot more.

Brooks of Sheffield said...

What a nice thing to say, Rebecca.

Chavisory said...

I am SO with you. I physically shudder at the sound of the word "network." I've had to explain to my father repeatedly that I AM "networking" every single day that I go to work, go to a party, go to a play, go out for drinks, whathaveyou. We just don't CALL it "networking" in my field; we just call it "knowing people."

Carol Gardens said...

Let's touch base on this soon!

Michael Leddy said...

And don't forget to take it to the next level.

Anonymous said...

But you "service your customers" so well...

Elaine Fine said...

Then there is the old standby, which is lying, which you can do either inside or outside of a box. It seems like something essential for success. Everyone I know who considers himself or herself successful does it.

And what is "the box" anyway?

elena said...

Sounds like we're all on the same page.

(There is no page, okay? No. Page.)

brownstudy said...

They are NOT 'silos', they are 'islands of excellence.'

Sean said...

Amen, Brother.

Berit said...

What about "impact"?

"That experience in my childhood 'impacted' me so much growing up."

I always picture the small bones of the hand or knee or foot being crushed to powder by head-on auto collisions when I hear that.