08 October 2008

10 Other Things Bloomberg Could Do to Help New York

Other than selflessly offering himself up for a third (illegal) term in office, in order ferry us financial simpletons through the financial crisis:

1. Use his personal wealth to single-handedly save a failing bank, and secure all the jobs that would otherwise be lost. Or two banks. How about two banks?

2. Use the $70 million he would undoubtedly use to win re-election and donate it to the City coffers.

3. After he second term ends, go down personally to Virginia, buy every gun in the state and destroy them, thus decreasing crime in the City.

4. Help New York become a greener city by selling his Bermuda and London homes, therefore cutting down on his airline travel and decreasing his carbon footprint.

5. Take ten friends out to dinner each night at a fancy restaurant so as to bolster the flagging restaurant trade.

6. Create new jobs by ordering the immediate demolition of every condo tower and apartment building erected during his administration.

7. Let people smoke in restaurants again, so we all can take the edge off a little.

8. Get married finally, settle down and make his 99-year-old mother Charlotte happy for once.

9. Work on his self-esteem, so he doesn't need 8 million people to goose his pride every four years.

10. Go back to Boston.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

seriously, who would you like to see as mayor and why?

Brooks of Sheffield said...

I'll make that decision when the candidates start running and voice their stances on the issues. But it's disingenuous and wrong of Bloomberg and his supporters to suggest he's the only many for the job during this time of financial crisis. He's using the crisis as an excuse. He's started eyeing a third term months ago.

Anonymous said...

ok, but then don't vote for him...i just dont understand why the anger at him wanting to run again...its not like he's appointing himself mayor for a third term...he would still have to run and win

in my opinion, leaving him out of the process means many voters will be forced to decide between their 2nd and 3rd options..

if thompson or quinn or whoever thinks they should be mayor, they should be able to defeat bloomberg in an election..

(needless to day i am against the idea of term limits at any level of gov't)

my 2 cents

great blog btw

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Thanks for the nice compliment. But, I have to say, it IS like he's appointing himself mayor. The law says he's limited to two terms. He's manipulating the system to make it possible for him to run for a third, casting aside the results of two referendums. And given his resources and the amount of money he's willing to spend (he has said he "doesn't care what it costs"), it's naive to assume that anyone running against him has a ghost of a chance. Bloomberg has his qualities; he's a smart guy and a competent manager of the city. But let's face it; he buys elections. It's quite doubtful he would have won his first term if he had been limited to spending the same amount of money his opponent did.

Anonymous said...

"5. Take ten friends out to dinner each night at a fancy restaurant so as to bolster the flagging restaurant trade."

I think he'd prefer to eat at Subway: "I love Subway sandwiches. I think they're a great deal, good for the money and taste great." Since he already gives them free publicity, maybe he can do a paid ad for Subway and donate the money for fixing our subway system?

Jennifer said...

Can you point me towards something that will clarify the connection you make in point 3? Thanks.

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Jennifer: He spent $70 mil on his first campaign, and more than that on his second. It's a safe best he'll do the same on his third. And thanks for using a name. No more Anonymous comments will be posted!

Jennifer said...

Thanks for your answer. I was actually referring to the guns ... Need some ammo (pun intended) against my boyfriend, who staunchly supports VA's open gun laws.

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Oh, sorry, Jennifer. I misread what No. 3 was. Bloomberg has very publicly (and rightly) pointed the finger at Virginia as the source of many of illegal guns floating around New York. This has greatly pissed off Virginia gun owners. It is also one of the few things Bloomberg has done that I wholly support and applaud him for. I suggest your boyfriend show his staunch support of gun rights by shouting them at the top of his lungs at 3 AM while walking the streets of certain Bronx neighborhoods. If he truly believes that man's right to easily secure and bear arms is a good thing, he should have nothing to worry about.

Ethan Callender said...

Right on. I love this list.

Jose said...

11. He could use a few million to actually sponsor and help build a few schools and not just obfuscate things in the DOE system. That'd be good.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the anger comes from the fact that he doesnt care for anybody thats against all these sickening condos and ripping down beautiful buildings, not to mention Yankee stadium,Shea stadium,Willets point scandal,and creating fake non profits with Quinn to divert money to shady real estate projects.Oh and take responsibility for crane collapses.3rd terms are not part of the NY state constitution.Hes great if you make 250,000 a year or more i guess.

Lisanne McT said...

Tony Avella for Mayor!

Seriously i can't believe Lost City has all these Bloomberg fans, loved your job creation idea!