I Don't Want to Think About It

I'm a parent. And I just want to let the fine people at Kellogg's know that exactly what I don't want to see on the front of a cereal box I buy for my kid is "NOW HELPS SUPPORT YOUR CHILD'S IMMUNITY."

Though, in theory, it may be nice to think that the breakfast cereal I select may in some small way prevent my kid from getting Swine Flu, it nonetheless absolutely freaks me out to have that implied in big letters on the cover of the box.

And, after I've calmed down and been completely repelled by the Rice Krispies (it appears to me that Snap, Crackle and Pop themselves are doing the pandering), I begin to think about how crass and wrong it is for the Conglomerate, Incorporated, Monolithic Whatsit that controls Kellogg's to capitalize on my fear in order to sell more boxes of their crappy, crunchy, anti-nutritional, air puffs.

UPDATE: Turns out these boxes are relics. Kellogg said on Nov. 5 that it is pulling labels from its Rice Krispies and Cocoa Krispies cereals that make claims about boosting children's health. "The cereal giant began adding antioxidants to the Krispies cereals last year, as a response to "parents indicating their desire for more positive nutrition in kids' cereal," the company said in statement. Labels on the cereals' boxes read "Now Helps Support Your Child's Immunity." The nutrients have been shown in studies to boost immune-system health. Kellogg said boxes of cereal displaying the label will remain on store shelves and that it will take a few months for the change to take effect."