Reasons Why I Am Not Successful

Things I hate to do:

• Brainstorm
• Monetize
• Think Outside the Box
• Push the Envelope
• Brand
• Network
• "Grow" My Company
• Synergize
• Leverage
• Sex Up
• Strategize
• Market My Skills

Or maybe it's just that I hate hearing people say these words. Or hate the people who say these words. Or hate it that people pay attention to people who say these words. Or all of the above. Either way, I'll never succeed in this marketplace. My skin crawls too easily.

Justice: EPA Designates Gowanus Canal a Superfund Site

In a rare defeat for Mayor Bloomberg and his powerful pals in Big Development, the Environmental Protection Agency has seen obvious sense and designated the long-putrid Gowanus Canal a Superfund Site. They thus rejected Bloomberg's hastily and cynically constructed plan to clean up the canal, which was nothing but a chimera designed to preserve the ravenous and selfish interests of the Troll, er, Toll Brothers, who planned to building a series of towers alongside the poisoned canal. How interesting and strange, in today's New York, for the interests of the greater community to be put ahead of a single wealthy developer. And how typical that such a decision has to come from outside the City. Little Boy Bloomberg, who thinks Wall Streeters deserve bigger raises and that rich people are the salt of the earth and the heart of this town, would never have for a second listened to the arguments of a community that thought the general welfare trumped private ambitions.

“After conducting our own evaluations and consulting extensively with the many people who have expressed interest in the future of the Gowanus Canal and the surrounding area, we have determined that a Superfund designation is the best path to a cleanup of this heavily contaminated and long-neglected urban waterway,” Judith Enck, the agency’s regional administrator, said in a statement.

The Toll Brothers, showing their true colors, and petty and vengeful to the end, said "Given the way Superfund sites work, it could be a decade or more from now before clean up starts. We just don't have that time horizon. We will most likely walk away from the properties." Great supporters of the community, they. Real loyal. Did they think the City plan was going to take six months? No. Because it was fictional. The City would have done squat if the EPA has decided not to confer Superfund status and went away. That's the "time horizon" Toll wanted to work with. The real contest here was always a Real Cleanup (the EPA version) vs. No Cleanup (the true City version). That's why it was so easy for people like me and other South Brooklyn activists to make a decision.

And besides, the E.P.A. readily estimated that the federal cleanup would last 10 to 12 years and cost $300 million to $500 million. Big cleanups take time. And the Gowanus has been steadily polluted for decades.

Now we just await Bloomberg's stubborn, childish condemnation of the EPA's ruling. Let's hope this is only the first policy defeat in the robber baron's ill-gotten third term.

DOT Removes One Of City's Last Bishop's Crook Lampposts

The City, in its infinite stupidity, has yanked up by the roots on of the metropolis' last original Bishop's Crook Lampposts. It stood at State and Bridge opposite Battery Park and, according to Forgotten New York, "in late 2009 the Department of Transportation installed a regulation octagonal-shafted aluminum post next to it, and you had the feeling the Crook's days were numbered. They were -- the DOT removed the Type 24M post in February 2010."

This, even thought "DOT has been spending a couple of decades installing retro versions of the major genres of old-fashioned NYC lampposts that dominated the streets from 1910-1950 -- bishop crooks, long-armed Corvingtons, Twinlamps and Type F reverse-scrolls." Smart, huh?

Dawn Breaks on Norah Jones' Sixth Window

Just because it's fun to count Norah Jones' new windows as they go up on her newly purchased townhouse on Amity Street in Cobble Hill, here is the latest hot bulletin: window six of seven was blasted through the building's west wall on Monday, March 1. Three on the top floor and three on the bottom floor.

What's more, a big 'ol cement truck pretty much clogged up Amity for most of the afternoon, feeding fresh cement into the townhouse for who-knows-what-reason. Does Norah has some bodies to bury in the basement?

Tough Times on Atlantic Avenue

Nova Zembla, the custom furniture store known to everyone familiar with Brooklyn's Atlantic Avenue, will close its doors on March 31, after 11 years in business. Owner Tommy Safian has given some very specific reasons for his exit in a message taped to the door, including a torn rotator cuff and a new child. The store's disappearance will leave a big hole at the corner of Henry and Atlantic, which already has a dormant corner in the form of the long-abandoned Long Island Restaurant.

Read more »

Some Stuff That's Interesting

The ritzy, and historical, Little Red Schoolhouse in Greenwich Village is moving. [Greenwich Village Daily Photo]

A Brownsville church to be torn down for affordable housing. [Daily News via Queens Crap]

The Mingala Burmese Restaurant on E. 7th Street in the East Village (above), a mainstay for 20 years, has closed. I had planned to make this a future subject of my "Who Goes There?" column on Eater. Now that column will never be. [EV Grieve]

Courts and Ratner are still pretending that Atlantic Yards is still going to happen. [City Room]

Bowery Lighting District biggies Elite Lighting (40 years old) and J&P Lighting (15 years in the area) are closing. J&P is moving back to Hicksville. [Bowery Boogie]

The Pink Tea Cup Returns!

Reports Eater:

While new owner Lawrence Page would like readers to know the facade will look totally different once the restaurant is completed, he confirms that the above spot at 88 7th Ave. South is the new location of The Pink Tea Cup, the 55-year-old soul food restaurant that unfortunately closed over on Bleecker St. after the New Year. The new location will have an updated menu— he says he has hired a "better" chef—which will consist of comfort food with a "gourmet twist," such as duck with chutney sauce, jumbo shrimp with grits, baked chicken and healthy options for those who have high blood pressure/cholesterol.

The exterior will be remodeled, and the windows will slide open during the summertime. As reported earlier, Page bought the name for $400k from the previous owners in an attempt to salvage the icon, keep the spirit of the place alive, and, one assumes, to ride out that reputation.

The restaurant will open in May and a new "A-list" lounge will be opening underneath Actor's Playhouse (which he also owns), located next door, around the summertime. 

That's the old Sweet Basil space if I'm not mistaken.

Just What Court Street Needs

Another nail salon.

Why Chase Has Sucked For the Very Last Time

Readers of this blog will know that, from time to time, I have railed against the loathsome character and practices of my monolithic bank, Chase, which I left years ago for Washington Mutual, only to be dragged back in after WaMu's collapse.

"Well, why do you stay with the damn bank?" asks the frustrated reader. Why, indeed? Apathy, mainly. Because changing banks is an enormous hassle. Because I suspect every other bank treats its customers just as badly.

But all those reason evaporated with last week's snowstorm. Last week was my last week with Chase.

Read more »

Norah Jones and the Seven Windows

Last time we checked in on Norah Jones and her Amity Street townhouse, she has punched through three of the seven new windows the Landmarks Commission said she could put in her western wall (over the objections of local Cobble Hill preservation groups).

Now, the winsome warbler has fully five of the windows in place, three on the top floor, two on the first. That leaves the second floor to be done. Wonder which level will contain the recording artist's home studio.