06 May 2009

Vote For Mike Bloomberg: He Owns a Blue Shirt

The campaign people for Mike Bloomberg—the guy who's forcing New Yorkers to consider him for a third time, and pretending like it was our choice all along—found my door, and slipped their brochure for Mikey's "Five Borough Economic Opportunity Plan" (wow—all five?) into my mailbox.

So, since I have the glossy, waxy thing (recyclable? I think not), let take a look at what all the fetching pictures of Mayor Mike tell us.

Mayor Mike knows women and he's willing to talk to them (at a downward angle) as if they're capable of understanding his mind.

Mayor Mike also knows African-Americans and is a willing to talk to them, if they are fully appreciative of his American Flag and Big Apple lapel pins.

Mayor Mike doesn't always wear suits! How boring and rigid do you think he is? He has a casual, button-down, crisply ironed, possibly very recently bought blue shirt, which he likes to wear when he talks to The People, and particularly when he visits Queens.

Mayor Mike is very fond of that blue shirt, or perhaps has a whole closet filled with the same kind of shirt.

When Mayor Mike is outside (and he'll go as high as 104th Street!), he likes to wear a leather jacket over his favorite blue shirt.

Mayor Mike has someone on his team who knows it may not be that cool to where the same blue shirt in every picture, so that someone bought the Mayor a green shirt of the same cut, or maybe just changed the color in Photoshop.

Mayor Mike understands human body language, and knows that leaning on a counter while talking to The People means he's actually enjoying himself and maybe even listening.

Mayor Mike is busy making sure that the crane at the next poorly supervised construction site will not fall on you in particular.

If you vote for him.


Alan said...

This Bloomberg-bashing is becoming a bore. He's not my first choice for mayor but a whole lot better than a Democratic fool like Green or Ferrer.

If you're going to critcize him, you're going to have to do a lot better than disliking his blue shirt.

Ken Mac said...

I think Mike will cruise down MacDougal one day, just to talk to us ordinary folk. hey Mikey, can you spare a dime or 2 billion?

Brooks of Sheffield said...

Alan: To see the other ways I have been bashing him, please enter "Bloomberg" in the search box and they will all appear. There are plenty of other reasons not to vote for this blinkered, arrogant, megalomaniacal plutocrat than his blue shirt. Why shouldn't I criticize him if I don't think he's a good mayor? Why on earth? Do you actually think he's not getting a fair shake? He got the odds on his side: money to burn, no viable opponent, favors doled out left and right, everyone from arts organizations to developers in his pocket. The city's being railroaded into re-electing him, and don't pretend it isn't. I'll bash him till doomsday and consider it my duty as a New Yorker and citizen of Democracy to do so.

The mission of this blog is to point out the aspects of historic New York that are being crushed and wiped off the map due to greed and ignorance. In that fight, Bloomberg is my mortal enemy.

And by the way: the blue shirt is not just a blue shirt. It's a symbol of his utter fakery and outright cynicism. He's a power-hungry fraud.

Queens Crapper said...

This man not only tries to pass himself off as a common man, but a preservationist. How can he have his deputy mayor say this kind of stuff with a straight face:

Patti Harris' kneeslapper

elizabeth said...

Just five of the many reasons(in no particular order) not to vote for Bloomberg:

1.)Atlantic Yards
2.)Not supporting Gowanus Canal Superfund Designation
3.)Term Limits Extension
4.) A blatant disregard for the city's past
5.) Acting like he cares when he doesn't

Brooks of Sheffield said...

For the other 95 reasons, keep watching this space.

Anonymous said...

You are right about bashing this
Emperor mayor we have.
He has bought so much media time with his own money that surely no media
will criticize him as he just might
be keeping them afloat time present
with his "campaign" Ads.
This is sooooo repulsive.
In any event his overtaxing so many
small buildings in all of our Bouroughs forcing small Landlords to sell to larger developers might
be his legacy as quaint neighborhoods (what's left of them)
just dissolve into Condos and more
CVS stores.